As You Sleep
by Kiaran Dryaalis
Summary: Just a quick SeishirouxSubaru fic. Kinda depressing.


_**Author's Note:** This is completely from a dream I had last night, dialogue and all. So, if you think it's screwy, blame my gods-forsaken dreams.  
**Warning:** Seishirou's thoughts are a touch graphic, hence the "T" rating. They're not graphic enough from an "M" rating, but definitely not kids' stuff.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own it and never will. T.T_

As You Sleep

It's past midnight. The blood on my arm is starting to dry as I leap from building to building. He was my third victim tonight. The man never saw it coming, never suspected a thing as I watched him. It wasn't until I dropped my illusion did he figure out what was to come. But by then, my hand had already shot through his chest and his eyes had already rolled back as his life slipped away. I released him and left him there. To me, killing is a simple act now; I've been doing it for so long.

I stop suddenly across from a certain building. A smirk crosses my lips as I turn and leapt towards a certain balcony, where I knew a certain sliding glass door was always unlocked. Inside, behind the glass, lay a figure I know all too well; your figure, Sumeragi Subaru. I can see you laying on your bed, wrapped in blankets in sleep. Pulling the glass door open, I step inside your apartment without a single sound.

Nine years, Subaru-kun. It's been that long since the last you and I met. Nine years since I revealed my lies to you, broke you and left you. Nine years since the day when your twin sister, Hokuto, offered herself to me in your place. Nine years since I killed her and clenched the hatred you felt. It honestly doesn't feel as though it's been that long.

I approach you as you sleep on, apparently not knowing that I'm here. Unsuspecting, like that morning nine years ago when your sister and I snuck into your bed and surprised you. However, you no longer wear those polka-dotted pajamas. You've grown out of them, trading them in for a simple pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Again, I smirk. If your sister knew that your wardrobe was in shambles, she would most certainly shriek in disgust. She raised you better than that.

As you sleep, your face is no longer twisted into one full of anger and hatred. Instead, it is calm and serene, like it had been before I broke you. As you sleep, I no longer see those green eyes filled with a mix of anger, hatred, pain, longing and love. As you sleep, I see the soft kindness you once had. As you sleep, I watch, as I have for several times before.

It is while you sleep that I often think of what might have happened, had you won our bet, Subaru-kun. What words would pass between us, what we might have gone through, what we would do for each other and to each other. Would we have stayed together even after you knew who I truly was? Or would you have left me, hurt by the lies I had told? Would I have truly stayed by your side? Or would I have eventually left?

Sometimes, the thoughts that come to me as you sleep disturb me.

This night, as I watch you sleep, I come to a small realization. Subaru-kun, I do not love you. I do not have the ability to love you. But as I watch you sleep, I realize that I want you. I want you pinned beneath me. I want you breathless as I do as I want with you. I want you screaming my name as we spiral into ecstasy. I want you to be mine, Subaru-kun. Mine and mine alone.

It's a bit of a startling realization. I had never thought of you that way. You were to be mine to torment psychologically. But now, as you sleep, I find myself wanting to find a way to extend the torture that I already administer. By taking you, hurting you, making you mine forever.

I shake my head, banishing the thoughts. I step even closer to you as you sleep, sitting next to you on the edge of your bed. As you sleep, I finger your soft, jet-black hair. A soft moan escapes you as you sleep and the hint of a smile appears on your lips; those lips, which I suspect are soft and smooth. As you sleep, you move close to me. But I stand. And I leave you as you sleep, like I always do. It is only as you sleep that I dare to approach you.

If I ever turned back to you, I would see the tears I know you cry as you sleep. But I never do. Because if I turned around, I would see that you were awake, like I know you are. You only pretend to sleep. And I only pretend you sleep. We both know, Subaru-kun, that you are always awake whenever I come to watch you as you sleep.

**_Owari_**


End file.
